The Fallen Shepherd
by Kiri Kaitou Clover
Summary: Eleanor never did wonder what would happen if a Shepherd fell to Malevolence. A visit to Lothringen gives to her one of the future possibilities, and it shatters her beliefs completely. She isn't the only one impacted... (Tainted AU Time Travel Fic) (Moving to AO3...)
1. Eleanor

**Idea stemmed from a personal tumblr post on the possibility of a Tainted AU time travel. Except this is in Eleanor's pov completely.**

* * *

Eleanor stared at the pair that had appeared in front of their group.

Velvet had decided on a whim to visit Lothringen once again. Perhaps to scare any exorcists training there again, but Eleanor knew that after their first appearance there, no one dared to return to the tower for training, for fear of the Lord of Calamity returning to destroy them.

Of course, Eizen's bad luck had to trigger the moment they stepped into the room Melchior used his illusions in. The pillar of darkness that appeared was comparable to what was normally released after they freed a Therion from its barrier, the Malevolence choking all but the Daemons of the group.

It was what appeared when the pillar dissipated that had her staring. In front of them was what seemed to be a human and Malakhim pair... except for the fact that the both of them were not exactly normal, with the taint of Daemonblight visible on them both, despite a lack of physical features altered.

The human of the two was dressed in a facsimile of Lord Artorius' outfit as the Shepherd, the white that symbolised purity stained black with Malevolence, gold lining the outfit and a blood red shirt underneath it all. His eyes glittered like emeralds, with a hint of madness and insanity in them. The Malak... if it could be called that anymore, was dressed in ghostly white and dark blues, hardened amethyst eyes slit like a dragon's, but gave away that it still had its free will.

All of them were immediately on edge. The Malevolence rolling off the two was not normal. The only one who seemed unaffected, was Velvet herself, her Therionized hand transforming out of instinct to consume the emitted Malevolence.

Taking a fearful step forward, Eleanor took a deep breath and questioned, "Who are you?"

The answer Eleanor got from the two completely shattered her beliefs of what she had been taught as an exorcist, beliefs that had already been cracked with her experiences with Velvet. Velvet only gave them a look of understanding, knowing that logic and reason had no place in the extremes one would take for the sake of their loved ones.

A Fallen Shepherd and his bonded Malakhim. A Lord of Calamity and his tainted servant. Both of them tainted beyond belief, both of them fallen out of free will and out of devotion to each other. It was confusing. It was ridiculous. It was contradictory. It was insane. It made her fear for the future, but at the same time it made her realise that the role of a Shepherd didn't change the fact that they were still human, prone to inexplicable emotions, prone to mistakes.

Velvet extended her untransformed hand to them. A gesture of welcome. Eizen huffed. He wouldn't judge, having already been tainted by Malevolence himself. Rokuro simply looked eager, staring at the ritual sword on the Fallen Shepherd's waist. Laphicet looked at them in innocent confusion, wondering how neither of them had turned into Daemons yet. Magilou looked on with calculating eyes, storing the knowledge she gained here for future use.

Eleanor could only giggle as the two looked at the group dumbfounded, the madness in their eyes clearing in their surprise. Their crew was an accepting one, they took on Therions, Daemons, a Reaper, an escaped Malakhim, a witch and a traitorous Exorcist. Perhaps, having these two on the crew wouldn't be too bad, with people around who accepted their faults. Perhaps the both of them could live normally... well, as normally as the crew of the Aifread Pirates lived.

She wondered, what was the future like, that a human and Malakhim were closer than brothers... to follow each other into the deepest darkness. Sorey, the Fallen Shepherd, and Mikleo, the tainted Malakhim. She looked forward to learning from them, of how the world was in the future...

* * *

 **If you were wondering what the original idea was, here's the link:** **rainixdra. tumblr post/ 160825322797/ berseriazestiria-fic-idea.**

 **It deviated from it quiet a lot and no I am not planning on continuing it. Its a big what if idea and heavy reaction idea fic. Hope you enjoyed it (Also, I feel this is one world where a Tainted AU Sorey and Mikleo can find acceptance.)**


	2. Magilou

**I know, I know. I said I wouldn't continue this. But inspiration struck when I woke up on Saturday morning. So here's a little more on our Fallen Shepherd and his partner and this time, we have Magilou! (A teeny tiny spoiler.)**

* * *

Their new crew members were… how should she put it… A _curious existence_. A Fallen Shepherd with a tethered Malak who has not turned into a dragon.

Magilou had never encountered such a contradiction before. Not with what she had been taught, not with the rumors and whispers she heard on her travels. Put it simply they made absolute no sense. Malakhim who were consumed by human Malevolence turned into dragons. _That was fact_.

From what she saw from the two Normin Malakhim when the pair boarded the Van Eltia, they made no sense to them as well. Seeing the well-travelled, well-read, Miss Grimoirh looking startled when Magilou began to dramatically introduce to pair to the crew, was in all honesty a surprise.

The pair didn't talk much. They stayed close to each other, as if still wary of the group. The madness and insanity that originally appeared in their eyes was replaced by nervous glances and wary looks. It showed that they were still had a sound mind, despite the Malevolence. They were like the humans-turned-Therions themselves, who still retained their human emotions despite the physical changes.

Still, the explanation they gave when they appeared, and their reactions to their surroundings, told her a lot about the future. They had looked at Lothringen in surprisingly wide eyed awe, quietly whispering to each other their observations. The moment the stepped out the looked at their surroundings in unguarded surprise and confusion. Were the appearances of their world's landmarks and locations that different in the future?

Perhaps the most jarring, was how… awkward the Malak was when they walked around Port Reneed's town centre. He acted as if no one other than their group and animals could see him. It was only when they met up with Benwick, who because talking to Eizen, that the brunette noticed normal humans could see his tethered Malakhim… that he hesitantly spoke up.

"Is… Is it normal? For humans of this era to be able to see Seraphim?"

Magilou replied with a sing song tone, "We refer them as Malakhim, oh future Lord of Calamity. And no, it is a rather recent development. It happened three years ago, I believe~"

To be tethered to Malakhim prior to the Advent, exorcists had to have a strong resonance, and to be able to see Malakhim naturally. The young man had inadvertently told her that whatever had caused the Advent, had been stopped, and humanity reverted to the times where they were unable to see Malakhim.

It also told Magilou how powerful his resonance was, to be able to see Malakhim naturally. It begged to question how was he capable of such potential in the first place.

Either way, her little Menagerie has gained two curious new members, and would probably keep them on their toes with their mysterious past and unknown capabilities. Magilou only hoped that the _old man_ would not catch wind of their two new members. Hopefully, the spy that was among their midst would know to keep quiet.

Sorey the Fallen Shepherd and Mikleo the Tainted Malakhim. Velvet's tale of vengeance would certainly be more entertaining, with the both of them in tow.

* * *

 **Magilou's chapter is more of a musing chapter, if anything. She's… always stood out to me as the observer, and considering her role post-game, it makes a lot of sense. Also, it is hard writing things in Magilou's pov because in-game, she seems whimsical and manipulative, but underneath it all is that analytical side. And it is hard writing that side of her.**

 **I didn't mention it in the previous chapter (because honestly I was not expecting to continue this fic) but the story takes place a little after Aball, AKA Velvet's resolve has been strengthened, and the possibility of a spy has become a real threat.**

 **Sorey and Mikleo act oddly this chapter for a reason. That reason will be explained in the last two chapters of this newly minted long fic.**


	3. Eizen

**My insanity led me to finish this chapter WAY BEFORE I finished Magilou's. Eizen's story is an interesting one. Curses instead of blessings as his core, I love him so much in the game. I also love that he's not judgemental. He's so accepting. And I love the fact that he is Edna's big brother. And outside of Phi, Velvet and Magilou, he's my fave of the Berseria crew. So… Here is part 3, with Eizen's reactions.**

* * *

Eizen didn't understand why. Despite Velvet and the others accepting them into the group so easily, he didn't understand why the Fallen Shepherd and his Malak… Looked at him with so much guilt in their eyes. They avoided Eizen like a plague. If it was because of his curse, Eizen could see why, but from what he knew, no one had explained the curse to them at all, somewhat because the pair was still a little unapproachable.

It was only when he spotted them watching him compose a letter to Edna with saddened, guilty eyes, that he _understood_. They _recognised him_. His name. His features. They recognised him from the moment they met him and if they were from the future… It was possible they knew him from Edna. His little sister whom he knew would go through hell to free him from his fate as a Dragon.

The guilt in their eyes was now understandable. They probably promised his sister that they would find a way to free him, only to realise that it was an impossible task.

He cornered them on the ship one night and pulled them aside to talk.

Leaning on the rails of the ship, Eizen sighed and asked, "So, how was Edna?"

Their heads shot up in surprise and eyes narrowed suspicion.

"Don't look at me like that. You're both from the future. The only way you would know about me would be through her," Eizen explained, revealing to them… that he had already guessed his fate.

They glanced at each other, and to his surprise, the Fallen Shepherd was the first to answer, "She… She's fine. Edna isn't lonely… if that was what you were asking."

"As fine as living with a hundred over Normin can be," the Malak muttered.

Eizen chuckled, "She always did love those cute Malakhim, but no, I was not asking if she was lonely."

They stared at him, confusion in their eyes, waiting for an explanation. Eizen sighed, "You promised to her to find a way to turn me back, right? Tell me about how she was during your journey."

They looked at each other once again, and with a bit of hesitance… they began to talk. About their first meetings with Edna, about the people they met alongside her, her sharp sarcastic tongue, her teasing nature, her prowess in battle, and her level headedness. Watching them relax and reminisce, Eizen smiled. It seemed that Edna had grown in the future years, and had found friends she could count on.

"Why," the question from the Fallen Shepherd after they finished recounting their tales startled Eizen out of his thoughts.

"Why what?"

"Why are you… so forgiving? We failed! I failed… Not only did I fail to keep Edna's promise of saving you… _but I failed at being a Shepherd in the end_. _I gave into the Malevolence!_ Why are you not angry?!" Harsh emerald eyes glittered in broken confusion.

"Because your existence here gives me hope," Eizen said.

"Hope?" the Malak stared.

"A Malak who has been taken over by Malevolence has the inevitable fate of becoming a dragon. You both know this," Eizen stated, seeing both wince. "And yet… here is an impossibility. A Malak, tethered to a Shepherd whose soul has been consumed by the Malevolence, has been tainted himself and should have turned into a dragon. But you are still existing without physical changes… Still existing without losing your mind."

"You are proof that perhaps, there is a way for me to halt the process of turning into a dragon myself," Eizen smiled.

The broken look on Sorey's face turned into surprise, while Mikleo looked startled, as if neither of them had thought about the implications of their contradictory existence. Eizen could only chuckle and say, "Thank you for taking care of my sister, and giving me hope."

With that, Eizen left the boys to ponder over what he said. Their talk with him revealed that they were still young, much younger than Eizen or even his little sister, despite the hardened look in their eyes. They had given him hope. Eizen, in turn, hoped that, as their journey continued, their loneliness and fear of rejection would lessen, that they would find a home, a family in their crew of misfits.

* * *

The next day, Eizen was pleased to see the boys had stopped avoiding him, and the looks of guilt had lessened. The night before had been a step forward. Eizen hoped they would continue to open up to more of the crew in the future.

The Fallen Shepherd Sorey and the Tainted Malakhim Mikleo. A contradictory existence that gave him hope.

* * *

 **Here's an interesting deviation from canon I actually want to see: Eizen not turning into a dragon. One thing that isn't explored much in a lot of tainted au fics is why Mikleo is able to stay in his Seraph form. My guess? It's because of his and Sorey's bonds keeping them both saner than normal. But what does that mean for other Seraphs? How can this be achieved by them? Tethering themselves to a human that they are extremely close to, maybe? I actually have no idea where to go if I want Eizen to survive, but this chapter was mainly about Eizen finding hope in Sorey and Mikleo's presence.**

 **(Also, does anyone object to the Fallen Armatization form making an appearance in one of the later chapters? 'cause I really want to use it against the Abbey.)**


	4. Laphicet

**Phi's chapter is here! I love the little guy so much and love how he's a powerhouse in such a small form! His relationship with Velvet and the crew is just so adorable, and so is his love for books and exploring (Phi always seems like a young Sorey or Mikleo in that aspect). He's also the most innocent of the crew, and next the Magilou and Eizen he's actually the most observant about people's emotions (particularly Velvet).**

 **Also, a shout out and thank you to FluffFailure(AO3) for being my beta reader for this chapter!**

 **So… without further ado…**

* * *

Laphicet didn't interact with them at first, having mixed feelings about the two. Firstly because of the Malevolence, which left him wary about interacting with them, and secondly because their behaviour confused him.

Humans who were tainted by Malevolence, no matter how strong their wills were, always had some changes to their physical appearance. It did not only apply to normal Daemons, but Therions as well. All of changes were representations of their taint.

As for Malakhim tainted by malevolence... it was a different story. Laphicet had witnessed first-hand what concentrated Malevolence did to his fellow Malakhim, at least for those under exorcist control. They either turned into a dragon-like Daemon, or a full Dragon. Even for those who managed to delay the effects (like Eizen, though Laphicet doubted the older Malak knew that he had noticed), the changes manifested in other ways.

The latter was true in regards to the Malak, whose amethyst eyes had pupils that were slit like a dragon's. And yet, other than the eyes, there were no physical indicators that he had been tainted. It was the same for the Fallen Shepherd, lack of much physical evidence of the taint. However, it did subtly show in their behaviour around the crew members.

The Fallen Shepherd often looked hesitant to approach anyone, for anything. If he did try, the attempts always crashed and burned with the young man clamming up and retreating to the side of his Malakhim partner. It was as if he was not sure he would be accepted. Occasionally Laphicet would catch him alone, muttering and rebuking himself that this was not a second chance, and that the past was just taunting him. Laphicet did not know what he had been referring to, but whenever he encountered the Fallen Shepherd on such occasions, he saw eyes filled with despair, self-hatred, and underneath it all, loneliness.

The moment always passed when the Malak returned to his side. Laphicet wasn't sure if the behaviour was normal of the Malak, but he hovered around the Fallen Shepherd, cautious and wary, trying to keep him away from almost everyone, a possessive glint in his eyes. He rarely ever left the Fallen Shepherd's side for more than a few minutes. If he did leave, the Malak was always in close range of his partner, and always rushing back if he had those self-depreciating moments, eyes glowing with protectiveness. Even then, Laphicet could see that the Malak's efforts to keep the both of them away from the crew were mostly reluctant, hesitant, eyes filled with the same dark loneliness that his partner had.

Laphicet had been at a loss. The pair held that inexplicable emotion of loneliness, and despite being surrounded by people, or even each other, it persisted. He felt sad for them. To be lonely even though they had each other. He wasn't sure if he was right, but in his heart, he felt that the two had purposely shut everyone out, even if they seemed to yearn for acceptance and companionship.

However, one odd instance made such a change in them that he couldn't help but wonder what had happened. The pair always seemed to actively avoid Eizen, and one night the older Seraph had apparently decided to pull them both aside. The next morning, Laphicet was surprised to see them actively chatting with Eizen and hesitantly approaching a few of the crew members to talk. Sure, the Malak still hovered possessively and protectively around the Fallen Shepherd, but he was less wary, more relaxed.

Perhaps it was the fact that their behaviour deviated from what he had expected from a tainted human and Malakhim that made Laphicet a little wary and nervous about talking to them.

Then one day, they caught him off guard. He had been trying to decipher the contents Laphi's book alongside Grimoirh-sensei, when the Fallen Shepherd came up behind them, spotted the open book and muttered, "I don't think I've seen that language before, not even in the Celestial Record..."

"Sorey, you know as well as I do that not every unknown language or piece of history is described in the Celestial Record, at least for our copy of it," the Malak said, overhearing when he entered the room.

Sure, Laphicet was still a little wary of the two, but his curiosity took precedence, "What is the Celestial Record?"

They looked at each other, as if contemplating whether they should answer, before Sorey walked to the travel pack that he had been carrying when he first arrived, and took out a worn but well cared book.

Laphicet moved to make space for the young man as he placed the book on the table and said, "This book, in our time, is a copy of the Celestial Record. A book that contains guides, information, descriptions and drawings of several locations, a record of the history of our world."

Grimoirh moved to open the book, flipping the pages with a discerning eye, "The script is different from the one that we use now, and it will take time for me to translate it into our own script. However, it seems quite comprehensive, judging from the illustrations, and the details underneath."

Laphicet blinked when one of the pages illustrated a familiar tower, "Isn't this Lothringen?"

The tower... looked worn, as if it had fallen under hard times. There were a few illustrations of the interior as well... including one of a huge monolith, which Laphicet knew had to have been placed there some time in the far future. Underneath the illustrations, what might have been the name of the location had been written down, though he couldn't read it. Then, when Laphicet flipped the page, he found… a couple of loose papers? Ones with a different handwriting?

"What's this?" Laphicet asked, picking up one sheet and showing it to them, all fear lost in the pursuit of knowledge.

The Malak was the one to answer this time, "Usually on our journey, we'd visit the places noted in the Record. Often we'd come across something that was not written in it, or something new about the location, and either Sorey or I would note down the differences. The tower, for example..."

He took one of the loose papers, showing it to Laphicet. On it was a sketch of Lothringen as it was now, with several notes below the illustration detailing the multiple differences between the two towers.

"Mikleo sketched that the night we boarded the ship, along with a few others. Pretty good, huh?" Sorey smiled proudly. Laphicet watched in surprise as said Malak blushed at the compliment.

Sorey's eyes were... softer, compared to when they first met, compared to his moments of self-hatred. They were gentler, happier. Mikleo's eyes also seemed to show fond amusement as he watched Sorey talk about the book. In fact, Laphicet was surprised that both Sorey and Mikleo seemed more relaxed the moment they started talking about the Celestial Record.

A discussion sprung up between the pair and Grimoirh about the contents of the Record, about the differences in the ruins and places they have been to, the legends surrounding them and determining which of them had some truth to them. Laphicet decided to join in on the conversation, his hunger for knowledge once more taking precedence. While he noticed that they avoided talking about future events, Laphicet understood that it was to preserve the timeline.

Through it all, Laphicet found that Sorey and Mikleo shared his love for knowledge and discovery of ruins. It was a strange experience, overall, since not once did the pair exhibit the traits that had them fall to Malevolence, or that strange loneliness, throughout the entire conversation. It was different… but it made him smile hopefully. Laphicet was now interested in getting the pair to show this side of themselves more often, getting them to lose that look of loneliness in their eyes. He hoped that getting them to talk more about their adventures while exploring ruins, about the things they love, would help them heal from whatever hurt they had.

The Fallen Shepherd Sorey, and the Tainted Malakhim Mikleo. Laphicet was no longer wary of them, but rather, he hoped that one day they would one day come to call him a friend.

* * *

 **Oh the irony…** _ **oh the irony…**_ **(People who know Phi's role in Zestiria should know what I mean)**

 **Now a few clarifications:  
The full details on the exact traits that Sorey and Mikleo exhibit the most in their fall to Malevolence will be covered in the final two chapters. Despite what it seems in the previous three chapters, where they may sometimes act a little **_**too**_ **normally (as some of you pointed out), Phi has noticed in this chapter… that their time after they had been tainted has left a lot of emotional scars.**

 **Right now, the Berseria crew is simply reacting to Sorey and Mikleo's presence on the team. You will see mentions/hints of what** _ **may be**_ **(or actually is)** **their fatal flaw scattered throughout the chapters (like this one), but until the last two, do not expect me to outright mention what caused them to fall.**

 **By the way, last chapter, I swore all of you could read my mind (or were just reading each others comments) since all of you suggested the inclusion of Zaveid. (He's in the plans guys. Just… give me a while.).**


	5. Finally Moving Permanently

Hey everyone!

Sorry to disappoint, but this is NOT a new update. Rather, I have a bit of a bad news to my followers who are here on FFn exclusively.

So, as some of you may have noticed, updates have trickled to a crawl. Mind you it isn't the first time this has happened, but there is a specific reason to why this has happened: I've not been posting fics here for the past 8 months or so, but rather, I've been posting to my other account on AO3. In fact, over the past 8 months on AO3 I've been posting a variety of oneshots and fics that I have not posted up here on FFN. None of them. Because of this increasing frequency to upload fics solely on AO3, I've actually come to a decision, quite recently, to just... move there.

So the bad news is: I'm bailing on FFn. Find me on AO3 if you want more of my fics. Or tumblr if you want to see what insanity I've been up to in the time I take between writing fics or chapters.

Here's the good news: I'll be leaving any works that have been uploaded here for people to still read. This includes my incomplete mega fic CtDRitL, and several others. Just don't expect it to be updated here anymore, its not going to happen. At the same time, people can still PM me with regards to other things. I'm still going to keep this account up because I occasionally review some of the fics I read here and there are a few people on this site who have stuck around and I'm still supporting.

Don't get me wrong though. FFn has introduced me to some amazing series and fandoms and fics over the past few years. I gained my experience in writing fics while reading them here. I love this site, and a lot of my fellow authors, but honestly? It's time for me to move. I've changed my style and pace of writing quite frequently over the years, and more recently I've noticed that full length fics like CtDRitL? Is a massive undertaking that I underestimated 5 years ago. You could never know what would happen - such as life getting in the way of things.

To the numerous amount of people who had constantly followed and reviewed any of my fics, thank you so much for the support over the years, and I hope you'll continue to support me over on AO3 if you haven't gone there already.

Either way, goodbye FFn. I'll probably just use you to read my favorite fics from now on.

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Kiri Kaitou Clover

(Note - I go by rainixdra on tumblr and Kiri_Kaitou_Clover on AO3, just in case you all wanna find me.)


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